Help and Support: Information, advice and useful contacts
Many people who are in abusive relationships do not realise it is a problem, that they can break away from the difficulties or that there is help available. GNFC and many other agencies provide extensive support to help women see the truth and improve their situation, see the links page for some of these organisations.
We believe each person has great value and worth. Everyone should be treated with respect; no-one deserves to be treated badly or abused. If you would benefit from support, we would aim to help you to realise your true worth and move on feeling more confident so that you (and your children) are able to stay safe.
There is hope for a great future. The journey may be tough, painful at times, but it’ll be worth it. You have great courage.
- If you are in immediate danger call emergency services on 999
- You can contact GNFC on 01298 24761 or email us at email@example.com for advice and support on a range of issues including making a referral to each of the levels of service. This page includes some useful information to help you to move away from an abusive relationship.
- Derbyshire Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse helpline – 08000 198 668
- National Women’s Aid helpline (24hr) – 0808 2000 247
Below is some information about domestic abuse.
The Government’s definition of domestic violence and abuse is (www.gov.uk):
“Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to:
Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.
Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.
Children are significantly affected when there is domestic abuse in the household, even if you think they do not hear or see the abuse. They often develop anxiety, fearing that they may be injured or abandoned, that the child’s parent being abused will be injured, or that they are to blame for the violence that is occurring in their homes. Grief, shame, and low self esteem are common emotions that children exposed to domestic violence experience.
What are the signs?
- Psychological abuse – being made to feel guilty, saying victim is responsible for the abuse, denying the abuse happening, being loving and kind in public, inconsistent responses
- Physical violence – including hitting, punching, biting, kicking, pinching, strangulation, slapping, pushing, being held down.
- Sexual violence – including having sex when not wanted – rape; being threatened or forced to carry out sexual acts; degrading language or treatment with regards to sexuality and/or orientation; being forced to have sex with others; being forced to watch pornographic material; withholding sex.
- Financial abuse – taking money, being given an allowance, not allowed to work, not being informed about money and income.
- Emotional abuse – criticism, mocking, name calling, humiliation, being made to feel guilty, lying, having other relationships.
- Control – controlling money, restricting contact with friends and family, unable to make decisions, unable to go out.
- Coercion – threats to harm, commit suicide, leave; threats to report to Social Care, the Police; persuading to drop charges, carry out illegal activity.
If you think you are in an abusive relationship – IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. No-one should feel like they deserve or have to put up with an abusive partner. You have options and there are people who can support you.
Create a Safety Plan
If you live with an abusive partner, it is important to make a plan for if you need to leave. Having a bag packed and kept discreetly with important documents (passport, driving licence, legal papers), credit/debit cards, spare keys, mobile phone and clothes is useful for if you need to leave in a hurry. If you have children, pack a few items for them too. If it is safe, take what you can with you. Don’t worry if you can’t as you would be able to return at a later date with the police.
Think of safe places you can go, more than one so you have as many options as possible. These could be a trusted friend or family member’s house, the police station, a refuge or domestic abuse organistaion.
What does GNFC offer?
We have safe accommodation where women and their children can live until more permanent, safe accommodation can be secured. Support is given to help survivors make their own choices about their future. We work with other professionals to ensure the safety and wellbeing of survivors and their families.
We provide a safe place when women and children leave a life affected by domestic abuse, addictions or other life controlling issues – so they are not held back by the past and free to live to their full potential in the knowledge that they are valued, accepted and cared for.